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Treat her like a ‘woman’

I am blessed to be surrounded my some amazing women in my life.

I was the only son with two sisters, one elder and one younger to me.

I am so far married to one wife (considering tomorrow is our Legal wedding’s 14th Anniversary – a little joke was in order) and we have two wonderful daughters.

My main confidants in life are my girlfriends in Dubai, Canada and Australia. We have been childhood friends and the only thing we did not indulge in is being ‘chaddis buddies’.

I also have a wonderful friend in Jamaica whom I call ‘Ma’ because she is always giving me motherly advice and is older to me.

I suppose when you are surrounded by women. You understand them better.

I am a big believer in the power of a woman.

Power to procreate, power to nurture, power to love unconditionally, power to hold a family together, power to hold a society together.

Our patriarchal society has conditioned our minds to believe that a man is superior to a woman on account of his brute physical strength but they forgot to mention the mental and emotional strength of a woman.

So when people talk about feminism. I think it is a hogwash. If you are truly a man born of a woman, you will automatically put a woman on a pedestal or accord her equal respect.

I am wondering today if feminism is a Bollywood starlet trying to sell your women a fairness cream because a dark colour complexion makes you less of a woman.

I am wondering if feminism is about all the make-up that women put on themselves to make themselves look more appealing forgetting that they are naturally beautiful and appealing.

I am wondering today if feminism is a Bollywood starlet raising her voice on women sex abuse issues but then dons the actress garb and does an ‘item number’ where hoards of sex-starved men ogle at her divine (or maybe medically designed) assets

I am wondering today if feminism is about women fighting for justice for Zaira Wasim on what seems to be a questionable allegation of toeing but quiet on Tarun Tejpal fingering in Goa.

I am wondering if feminism is about fighting for child-abuse issues in the urban areas but quiet about the thousands of woman and young girls getting abused in rural India.

I am wondering if feminism is about the Freedom of Expression to laugh like a hyena in Parliament but not even put a smile on one’s face when Triple Talaq gets banned through a process in Parliament.

I am wondering if feminism is fighting for the right of an 18-year old girl to marry a man of her choice, who then plans to sell her as a sex-slave to ISIS but completely ignoring the agonising pain of the mother who cannot watch her child go through this hell and steps in to fight.

I am wondering if feminism is about screaming ‘vagina, vagina, vagina’ because you thought that its alright to go ahead with being a sex-slave rather than die but completely turning a blind-eye to lives of sex-slaves and prostitutes forced to live in hell, while being ravaged savagely by animals every hour of the day.

I am wondering if feminism is about the right of women to wear what they want but to be condescending to women who prefer to wear sarees instead of tight jeans and mini-skirts.

I often tell my daughters, wear what makes you feel comfortable but also something that makes others feel comfortable.

I often tell my daughters you do not need to glam-up to look beautiful, you will make friends not for your beauty but your values and intelligence.

I often tell my daughters if you want to look up to someone in life look up to your mother. She carried you for nine months and will always be there for you, through thick and thin; she sacrificed so much of her individual life to make yours better.

Let me leave you with a thought.

As a movie ‘Bahubali’ was an amazing movie. But there was a scene that did not require to be there, it is a scene where Prabhas disrobes Tamanah Bhatia during a song sequence to expose that she is a beautiful woman. No imagine if that happened in real life and see whether it will be acceptable.

In the movie ‘Kick’ in a song sequence Salman Khan in his wooing act with Jacqueline Fernandez thugs at her skirt like a dog. No imagine if that happened in real life and see whether it will be acceptable.

For women to change, women have to respect themselves first.

A man will always respect a woman if he has grown up respecting his mother, sister, wife and daughters because he will always see the power of a woman in them.

On this Valentine Day and every other day of your life, treat her like a woman.

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