OpinionEdit CornerSatire by Savio

India needs Rahul Gandhi!

India needs Rahul Gandhi.

Before you start jumping to conclusions about my article. Read the whole article. I am sure you will agree with me that India needs Rahul Gandhi.

Politics is too serious. It needs someone that can bring a little cheer to the otherwise serious face of politics. Rahul Gandhi is that clown who eases our pains in times of political strife.

The people of India gave Rahul Gandhi his space just like they would give Uday Chopra his space because of his father Yash Chopra. Indians are emotional when it comes to family legacies. And Rahul Gandhi has the legacy of his father, his grandmother, and his great grandfather.

There nothing even remotely inspiring of Rahul Gandhi’s political acumen. Just like Uday Chopra’s acting. But we tolerate them out of some ununderstandable notion of acceptance due to a legacy. Funnily, international media is quick to term us Indians as intolerant, without comprehending that it requires a certain level of extraordinary patience to tolerate stupidity in politics and movies.

Rahul Gandhi is that humor India needs in politics not because he is genius in politics but because he is a natural at comedy. Some people have the face, body, and mindset of a comedian. If you look at Vir Das – a popular Indian comedian – one look at his face, body, and mindset, you would say that he is best for comedy because he makes you laugh by just looking at him or when he starts to speak.

I think it requires a certain skill to be a natural comedian. Not everyone is blessed with this grace to make people laugh when you are around and when you are not around. Rahul Gandhi is blessed with this unique skill to make people laugh when he is around and when he is not around. The mere thought of him is good enough to make one laugh.

It is not in my nature to mock someone. I do not think Rahul Gandhi needs to be mocked. Most times people go through their lives living someone else’s dream rather than their own. I think Rahul Gandhi is someone who does not aspire to be a politician. He just does not have the aptitude or attitude of a politician. Yet he is thrown into an arena that people in Congress think would be familiar to him because of his legacy.

Having grown in the lap of luxury and limelight coupled with devious people that intend to use you as a mascot to win their own little political and financial games, Rahul Gandhi has been reduced to a caricatured mascot of a team, normally you see it in sports, this is in the game of politics.

The problem is that he is so good at the job of being a mascot. His skill is helping some useless political leaders stay afloat in Congress and also giving a much-needed opportunity to BJP to scale to immense heights in politics in India, while Congress numbers dwindle. Rahul Gandhi is a jinxed mascot for the Congress party in India but certainly a lucky mascot for the BJP.

Rahul as a politician does not inspire confidence. It is impossible to even fathom that the reigns of our country could be in his hands. I do not say that because I think he a bad person. I am simply stating an obvious fact that he is just not competent to be a panch of a Panchayat let alone be an MP of a constituency. He just does not have the political acumen for it. Today, he is the MP of Wayanad but look at Amethi there is nothing significant that he has done for that constituency, yet he has been elected from that constituency before only because of his legacy. He cannot deliver as an MP because he does not have the aptitude to be an MP. Of course, he left Amethi, when BJP’s Smriti Irani decided to throw herself in the ring in the battle for the constituency. Such was his confidence in himself, his legacy, and his voters that he ran away like a scared chicken to a constituency that he could win because of his legacy.

Rahul Gandhi has no merit to hold any political position in India. The only political position he can hold is in the Congress party because quite frankly that is not a political party with democratic principles but SPR Private Limited – Sonia, Priyanka and Rahul Private Limited. In Congress, democratic guidelines are applicable only after the Gandhi family and not to the Gandhi family.

The sycophancy of some free women and men of India to the Gandhi family, in my opinion, stems from an inherent genetic drawback in some of us Indians. We have in our minds conditioned ourselves to be subservient to people who seem to be power centers, whether they merit it or not. Some Indians have not grown out of their slavish behavior. That is the problem India face with the Gandhis and that is why even Rahul Gandhi tries hard to get the people of India to accept him as their political leader, because he has been conditioned to be a representative of political aristocracy, and some people in India are subservient to his family and him.

The real problem for Rahul Gandhi is his mother Sonia Gandhi. Like all mothers, she is a mother and wants her child to do the impossible by keeping the legacy of the family moving forward. Sonia Gandhi is akin to a parent who is in the field of medicine or engineering, who want their children to be doctors and engineers, without even identifying the qualities of their child or what their child really want to do in his life. If Rahul Gandhi wants to sit and do nothing for the rest of his life, so be it, let him do that. God knows he has the wealth that 99 percent of average Indians do not have, to live a life doing anything.

There is nothing in the world of business or social or economics that Rahul Gandhi has done in India. Internationally we know he set up Black Ops with Eduardo Faleiro’s son-in-law Ulrich McKnight to take kickbacks. He did not do it as an Indian citizen. He set that company up as a British Citizen and even showed a British address, yet Rahul Gandhi manages to waltz around India and the world using the legally gotten and ill-gotten wealth of his family’s legacy. Even Robert Vadra, corrupt though he is, has a better business and political acumen than Rahul Gandhi.

I have no problem if Rahul Gandhi wants to continue to pursue his career as a politician. That is clearly his mother’s choice. But I think he should seriously not aspire to run the country. That is not a tragedy the people of India can afford in this era of our positive northward climb. Sometimes comedies also turn out to be tragedies.

India needs Rahul Gandhi in politics because India needs entertainment. Rahul Gandhi is downtime entertainment. He is like Keshto Mukherjee of Bollywood movies. Only Keshto Mukherjee understood what Keshto Mukherjee did and but whatever he did was highly entertaining. The people of India must not expect even a bit of political acumen from Rahul Gandhi, that’s too serious a role to expect from him. But we must encourage him when he makes statements, ‘Sona from Aloo’ because that is without a doubt rolling on the floor hilarious. Some of his statements truly take you to Jupiter and back. We need that entertainment in politics. Of course, we cannot allow his comedy with China and its Hakka Noodles to turn into a tragedy for us Indians.

India needs Rahul Gandhi, not as a political adversary to Narendra Modi. India needs Rahul Gandhi to aspire to be the President of the ‘Great Indian Political Comedy Club’.


Savio Rodrigues

Savio Rodrigues Founder & Editor-in-Chief GoaChronicle.com
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