Yuva - India

Life of shy

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Having been a shy guy myself for a better part of my life, I have faced a lot of problems regarding expressing myself to others. In the past, it has cost me greatly and dearly both on the professional and personal front. Apart from being wary of things, it also crops a fear of being incorrect, or more so a laughing stock. Speech oration, project presentation, hosting, all these have had mass fear inside my heart for too long until things start to unfurl. I started reading and listening to powerful speeches by people in authority, mass leaders, entrepreneurs and things were not same anymore. Now when I look back and indulge myself in naivety, the only question that rattles me is what caused this fear, no one was running behind me with a dagger to stab me, so what instils fear in one’s mind? Let us dig in.

 

Most behaviourists believe, millions have this introverted aspect in them, which reflects when they are given an audience, however small it may be. Even though shyness and introvert are different traits but are very commonly used on each other’s behalf. This fear may cause heart-pounding, mumbling, stammering and most commonly forgetfulness. Unable to showcase their own emotions to people and not being able to correctly define themselves and their behaviour leads to mental pressure eventually causing depression and other medical complications which many might even not identify in oneself.

 

People tend to have various kinds of fear when they are young and those fears diminish with maturity, but in maximum cases, the fear of public speaking, the introvert inside of us keeps itself alive in our souls. It may come due to the fact that the institutes of well-being and knowledge, like schools and hospitals, and seminars are designed and equipped for extroverts and making people more outspoken rather than considering the fact that greatness comes from inside and being calm and not always being energetic and being social. This doesn’t mean that these institutions are flawed but not considering the fact that people have different comfort zones and people in charge of making pupils better shouldn’t just miss the fact that there are personality differences among people.

 

The term introversion was popularized through the work of Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and later became a central part of other prominent theories including the big five theories of personality. According to the theory, everyone has some degree of both introversion and extroversion. However, people often tend to tilt one way or the other.

 

One of the major characteristics of this personality type is that introverts must expend energy in social situations. This to them feels like bending their knee and stooping low just to get some good eyes on themselves. This behaviour in turn may find them being annoying or unsuitable in certain circumstances. But while observing introverts it is found that they possess those traits which are invaluable and gold by any standards. They are great listeners, they are keen observers, they make quality friends, they are voracious readers, they are thinking about other feelings and they are compassionate about a lot of unimaginable things. With these admirable traits comes the biggest downside, procrastination. This causes them to be subordinate, stalling on projects and even shily-shelling.

But then comes the question which I found the answer to pretty recently, it isn’t bad to be introvert or shy or reclusive but bad to try to impress others. As the saying goes, “Everyone shines, given the right lighting.” Having your own comfort zone to do miracles is not bad and having personal space to adjust yourself to bring out the best in yourself is even better. The misunderstanding of people’s behaviour is nothing new, but it might just be the high time to adjust to the fact with a smartphone in every hand that people like to spend time with themselves more than interacting with kin or kith. The more society grows with more technical advancements, humans would get affected by people getting more isolated towards each other and tend to enjoy more when alone.

So, to all of those on this side of the table, let us just take a sip of coffee, relax and as the famous movie Perks of being a wallflower goes – “You see things. You keep quiet about them and you understand.”

Akash Ranjan

Intern, Goa Chronicle
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