My husband and I have now been married for 10 months and he has a very bad temper. I have set up couple therapy and have our first appointment tomorrow which he initially agreed to and is now backing out of but I still plan on attending. His anger has turned to rage and his outbursts are directed at me and have become so bad that I am finding myself less attracted to him and not wanting any intimacy at all. I know there are always two sides to every story and some of the things I say that he may disagree with piss him off but in no way do they elicit the awful verbally abusive response he gives me. I’m very worried because we are newlyweds and wonder if this is a big red flag that the marriage is doomed to fail..
A- Have you know him for long before you married him? Do you know his family? Find out if there were such incidences of abuse and rage before you married him. Seek their help and the help of his friends to find out what has happened to trigger such behaviour, at may be his work place. If violence has been a pattern and is a part of his personality, than chances are less that the situation will change. You will have to carefully assess the dynamics with your therapist and come to a decision for your own well-being and safety.