Now everyone in India, World and Jupiter knows that Rahul Gandhi is trying compete with Narendra Modi.
In fact he is so passionate and committed about his ‘Modi Mission’ that in the morning he wakes up at night to find the right velocity which he borrows from Jupiter, so that he can teach Modi a lesson of the three monkeys of Gandhi who – see no evil, hear no evil and speak not evil in Parliament.
Keeping with the exuberance and spirit of the ‘Modi Mission’, Rahul Gandhi had kicked of his series of talks in India and Globally called ‘Bum Ki Baat’.
Don’t laugh or don’t get angry, dear reader, because of the observation that I am penning down. He started his ‘Bum Ki Baat’ at the University of Berkeley and yesterday he had his special ‘Bum’ talk in Singapore.
The reason I termed it ‘Bum Ki Baat’ is because all that Rahul’s does when he goes abroad is talk shit about India and BJP. While to be honest, he has every right to talk shit about BJP, because he might think they are shit. It is hugely disappointing that he goes on to talk shit about India.
To best of my knowledge shit comes out of only two exits of the human anatomy and worst of it is the mouth, because you cannot flush it away and spray perfume to drown the stink away. Therefore I decided to call his talk series in India, Abroad and Jupiter as ‘Bum Ki Baat’.
I suppose the reason Rahul gets active with his bum that’s lost it way and acts like the mouth, is because he has quite a lot of fan following across the globe – believe me – so enamoured are his fans with his ‘Bum Ki Baat’ – that they have become fully ISO certified bums – whose only job is to praise Rahul’s ‘Bum Ki Baat’ series.
I seriously think he suffers from food poisoning when he goes abroad, because quite frankly his verbal diarrhoea is evident through his ‘Bum Ki Baat’. Here I am sitting in Dubai, suffering from a similar stomach bug, so I can empathise with him. To cure myself of the bug, I finally got down to watching the All India Bakchod – ‘Arjun – Ranveer Roast’ episode. It was so crass that it made me throw up quiet easily but I did not do it in public, like Rahul.
So humble suggestion to Rahul is that the only place where is ‘Bum Ki Baat’ is going to be successful is in the All India Bakchod office or on Jupiter. Please spare us Indians the shit you spew about our Nation globally, because if India is shit, it is because your family and your political party revelled in the shit and did very little to stop this shit.
You could not even do a simple job of making toilets for every Indian, so that we did not have to see shit all around. Poor Akshay Kumar had to work on an interesting movie titled ‘Toilet – Ek Prem Katha’ and mouth a cheesy dialogue ‘Bibi will come home our not, there will be a Sandas in the village’. You could have atleast spared us this movie, then because you failed to provide reasonably priced sanitary pads to women or work effectively in changing the mindset to women monthly periods in society, Akshay went and made a movie Padman. Who knows the next movie he will make is about a citizen initiative to stop people from peeing any and everywhere in the country and call it Mutralaya.
So much is the excitement to showing India’s shitty side globally, that a American movie director even got an Oscar for showing an Indian boy jump into a pile of shit and come out running covered in shit to get fake Amitabh Bachchan autograph in the movie. Trust me Rahul, there was nothing Jhakass about it, it was simply Jackass.
Until your next ‘Bum Ki Baat’ Rahul Gandhi, try Kaayam Churan it would help in the digestion of the fact that Congress has lost ground in India and your ‘Bum Ki Baat’ is not helping its cause to come out of the ground it is in filled with manure or better termed bull-shit.