One of the most misunderstood concepts we have is that of promises, oaths and vows. We promise, swear, commit and make vows to stay together; to love each other, to serve et al, not knowing that these remain forever. It can be towards a person, cult, culture, nation, or even the self, without the realisation that at the dimension of the soul everything is eternal because time does not exist. The promises that once served their purpose become redundant and in due time, actually harm our growth and overall health.
They become blocks in our evolution and sometimes even cause health issues. We feel these unspoken words represent our love and devotion and sometimes even deception, a means of getting by or avoiding confrontation, not realising they’re going to be the chains that would tie us up forever. They become the cause of suffering, sometimes during many lifetimes or even many karmic cycles.
I believe that love, as we understand it, is actually a selfish, fear-based emotion. Love, to my understanding, is a way of taking. You love a person because there is joy and pleasure in loving them. You love them the way you understand love, you care for them the way you understand care. You give love to fulfil your need for belonging and to fill up the void of emptiness, and feeling of being incomplete, or rather, overcome the fear of loneliness. Most people mistake this exchange for love. Unconditional love, or what I see as real love, is a balanced, neutral state of acceptance.
Man’s biggest love is for himself. Nothing can stand between him and his love for survival. When it is a matter of survival, all glorified concepts of conscious love disappear; fear is a stronger emotion to address, and fear carries the odour of death and perishing into nothingness. Therefore, where fear exists, love cannot be felt. Then how does one ever experience the love all Sufis sang about? How do we experience the unconditional love, they say, the Creator has for us? How would the love of a twin flame feel like?
To my understanding, the kind of love you wish to believe would complete you is only a fanciful imagination of your mind. Do I not believe in love? I do…with every cell in my body. However, I have a clear understanding that unconditional love in all the poetry and spiritual texts is about acceptance of others with love, fully and completely for who they are, and then being present with the whole of them, not to feel complete but to feel one.
Sahar Gharachorlou is a Life coach and a metaphysical therapist. Her latest book Because Time Does Not Heal which dives deep into Past Life Regression is published by The Browser.