In the grand arena of Indian politics, the stage is set for the most anticipated race of the year: the Indian Election Derby on June 4, 2024. The crowd buzzes with excitement as the competitors take their positions.
At the center of attention is Modi, the sleek and seasoned thoroughbred derby horse, poised with confidence. Beside him, causing quite a stir, is Rahul, the plucky donkey who has inexplicably entered the race once again after he failed in 2014 and 2019 because he has been conditioned to think that he is a ‘derby horse’ and not a donkey by his family and political advisors. This time though other conniving animals on the farm, weary of the continuous victory of the horse and his control over the animal farm decided to come together along with Rahul the donkey to defeat the thoroughbred derby horse, Modi.
The derby begins with a flourish. Modi, gleaming under the spotlights, trots to the starting line, his mane perfectly coiffed. He nods to the crowd, who respond with roaring applause. In stark contrast, Rahul ambles in, ears twitching and tail swishing, looking more like he’s stumbled upon the event rather than being a contender. The audience, a mix of bemusement and skepticism, watches as he finds his place next to Modi.
The pre-race parade is a sight to behold. Modi, with the precision of a seasoned performer, executes a series of flawless prances and trots. His campaign slogans are emblazoned on banners held high by enthusiastic supporters. Rahul, attempting to follow suit, nearly trips over his hooves. His slogans scrawled hastily on crumpled signs, read, ‘Rs 8500 Carrots for All Women!’, ‘Rs 100000 for all poor Indian families!’ and ‘Vote for Change, Defeat Modi’!
As the race is about to start, the competitors huddle with their teams. Modi’s advisors, a polished and strategic bunch, discuss complex tactics involving speed bursts and calculated pacing. Rahul, meanwhile, is surrounded by a motley crew of well-meaning but somewhat confused aides. “Just keep going straight,” one suggests. “Try not to get distracted by the grass,” another adds helpfully. Rahul nods, half-listening, his eyes already scanning for tasty patches along the track.
The starter pistol fires and the race is on! Modi bursts forth with the power and grace of a true thoroughbred, his strides long and confident. He’s a blur of efficiency, every movement calculated and purposeful. Rahul, however, starts with an awkward lurch, almost colliding with the gate. He sets off at a leisurely trot, seemingly more interested in the scenery than the race itself.
Midway through the race, the hurdles appear. Modi leaps over them with ease, barely breaking stride. Rahul, on the other hand, approaches the first hurdle with wide eyes. He stops, looks at it curiously, and decides to walk right into it instead and stumbles. He quickly gets up. The crowd chuckles, and some of his supporters continue to cheer for his unconventional approach. “Innovation!” shouts one external optimistic supporter.
As they navigate the track, Modi sticks to his well-trodden path, engaging with supporters and maintaining his pace. Rahul, meanwhile, takes several detours. He stops to nibble on some grass, engages in long-winded conversations with random spectators, and occasionally brays loudly about change and progress. His speeches, filled with mixed metaphors and jumbled statistics, leave the audience scratching their heads but entertained.
As the finish line approaches, Modi gears up for the final sprint. He’s miles ahead, his victory almost certain. Rahul, realizing he’s far behind, suddenly picks up speed—or at least tries to. His legs move faster, but his direction is haphazard. He zigzags across the track, narrowly avoiding collisions and creating a spectacle of chaotic energy.
Modi crosses the finish line with a triumphant flourish, securing his victory. The crowd erupts in applause, celebrating the predictable yet impressive outcome. Moments later, Rahul stumbles across the line, exhausted, and irritated but puts on an oddly cheerful face. The audience, appreciating his sheer tenacity and comic relief, offers a generous round of applause for the entertainment.
In the winner’s circle, Modi receives the grand prize—a gleaming trophy symbolizing leadership and victory. Rahul is awarded a special ribbon: “Participant – Most Entertaining Competitor.” As Modi takes a victory lap, Rahul ambles off, munching on a celebratory carrot and contemplating his next move with his sister Priyanka and advisors Sam, Jairam, and Raghuraman.
As the dust settles on the Indian Election Derby, the spectacle is remembered not just for the triumph of the thoroughbred Modi but for the expected entertainment of the donkey like it happened in 2014 and 2019. Rahul, the under donkey, remains a quirky symbol of unintentional humor in the high-stakes world of Indian politics because, in all honesty, the foolishness on display is laughable – a donkey is a donkey and there is the purpose of a donkey in an animal farm but to believe that the donkey is horse is not only absurd but laughable.
